Delirium (Delirium #1) by Lauren Oliver

ISBN: 0061726826 // Special Edition, Hardcover, 441 pages // ★★★★★★★★★★

Summary: The story is set in Portland, Maine, in an alternate present. Civilization is concentrated in those cities which escaped the severe bombings of decades past. Travel between cities is highly restricted. Electric fences separate the city from the Wilds—unregulated territory which was presumably mostly destroyed by bombs.

The totalitarian government teaches that love is a disease, amor deliria nervosa, commonly referred to as the delirium. A surgical cure for the delirium has been developed and is mandatory for citizens 18 years old and over. Lena has looked forward to the procedure for years, convinced as she is by the government that love is a horrible disease that must be destroyed from mankind’s system.

However, mere months before her scheduled procedure, Lena falls in love with an Invalid (a person over 18 who has not taken the Cure and lives in the Wilds) named Alex. He was born in the Wilds outside the city, and has pretended to be cured in order to live undetected in the city. He offers Lena the means of escape from the procedure that will destroy her ability to love. The two of them would leave the city and live in the Wilds, joining the rebels who oppose the procedure and the government. Although Lena struggles with the thought of leaving her life behind, she ultimately decides to go just seven days before her procedure.

Alex and Lena are discovered meeting together a few nights before their planned escape. Lena is captured and held in her home, tied down and under guard, until she can have the procedure to cure her of her lovesickness—and render her docile and unresisting. Alex rescues her and they attempt to escape the city, but Alex allows himself to be captured and shot on the spot to save Lena. She runs off into the Wilds, not wanting Alex’s sacrifice to be in vain.

Opinion: Words cannot properly express how fantastic this book is. There’d been so many praises for Delirium and it was everything I expected! When I read the summary I was immediately interested. I loved Lauren’s writing style. Everything just flowed right. 

The plot overall was intriguing and capturing. It’s a scary world that they’re living in and a scary thought - a world without love. A world where you didn’t get to experience it and didn’t want it, where it was forbidden and wrong - a disease. I cannot imagine anyone living in a place like this. And the ending is unbelievable. It will leave you stunned and speechless. 

“Love. It kills you both when you have it, and when you don’t.”

1. Neil Patrick Harris (a.k.a Barney Stinson) is in my bed!11!!!1!! Omg. 
2. I am in the set of How I Met Your Mother.
3. Phillip Phillips mentioned me in one of his tweets. 

Seriously guys. Even if this was all a dream it feels like it was real. Like totally real. Especially when NPH hugged me. He’s wearing a suit and he looks so sad and he’s in my bed. (Lolwhut? Bed? Really? HAHA!) He hugged me so tight, I cried. And I dunno why. Weird. And then I asked him: “What about Robin?”. Haha. What the fork. Then he replied: “Don’t worry about them.”. And the end. Oh wait, I remember something about “my bed”, it’s like the bed of Barney Stinson in HIMYM but it was in my house. Strange.

The next thing I remember is that I am in the set of HIMYM. I am watching and then shockingly, I am doing an act. I don’t remember exactly what I did there. That’s all I can remember. And then when I checked my twitter, there BOOM! Phillip Phillips says: “Hi @dreawesome”. Omg!!!111!!!1! Hahaha. OA te. 

I dunno how to react. This is a strange dream. Haha. But I loyk Neil Patrick Harris even if he is a gay. Is that weird?

I want to change my description. But I am lazy. Ugh. Buy me a life please.　

(via aplaceforart)

Last Friday, I went to school to enroll, oh (*sarcastic-excitement tone begins here*), with my grand mom. She insisted to come, what the hell. And sadly, I get an insult from a classmate. “And tanda mo na nga nagpapasama ka pa.” What the fork dude, she insisted to come!111!!!!!!1! And the assistant of the dean told me: “Bakit nandito yung lola mo? Bakit siya yung mage-enroll para sayo?” I want to shout at him and tell him to shut up and die. LOL. Fuck this moments.

Well, moving on. After 23654252377 hours of walking and waiting, TADA! I am officially enrolled. So we agreed to eat first before I ship the Books (I recently opened an online bookshop so..) and before we do our whatsoever agendas. She told me she like to eat in Chowking but it’s a no-no for me so we ended up in Greenwich. Haha! I ordered A heavy meal (Chicken with rice, with spag, with pizza, with large coke.) LOL. Taking advantage of her money.

Then after that, we shipped the orders and then looked for a tailoring shop. And then we went to National to buy some school supplies!!!11!1!!! Yey. Haha. I was excited because I was the one who shop for my brother’s school supplies. And I don’t care about mine. I just grabbed two steno corona notebook, one g-tech pilot, a bundle of index cards, a whole pad paper, and a school planner from Candy Magazine that has a girly cover (it’s finkkkkkkk, and it’s cute that it hurts so bad. The girly side of me is really annoying sometimes. Haha) And supposedly, I was going to buy just one notebook but my grand mom told me to buy two. Huhuhu, okay whatever. It’s not my money anyway so. Haha. I tried to asked her to buy me a book then, but she didn’t. HUHUHU. 

Oh well, I got my brother a 10 avengers themed notebooks (I want the harry potter one but I’m sure he’ll never like it tho) , pad paper, and 2 black pens. We didn’t bought a bag and other stuffs because were waiting for the package my aunt shipped. So.. 

One week before the opening. I hope these little bumps in my face will fade away soon. HUHUHU. I hate myself for not sleeping in a normal time. I hope I can finish the books I am currently reading now. I hope I can watched all the movies and series I downloaded. Ghaddd ONE WEEK. Kill me.

I know that I can’t. It’s like I’m going to burst. The pain is all around me - inside and out - and all I want is an escape. Just a little escape.　

They are so sweet together. Hugging. Cuddling. Holding hands. Lauhing together. I hate it. I hate them. But maybe I just hate myself for being alone. Maybe I just hate the fact that I don’t have a companion / lover. Maybe I just hate being single. Maybe I envy them. Maybe I’m insecure, Maybe.

Oh, I replied that girl, on my last last post. Haha. I am annoyed so.. Hah. Text ng text eh! And besides, my brother won’t even mind. Maybe.

“Ang bata bata mo pa, ganyan na inaatupag mo. Pag-aaral nga ang isipin mo. Please? Tsaka hindi mo pa alam ang ibig sabihin ng love. Okay? Mag-aral ka nga. Ke bata bata ang landi landi na.”

Yes, I really include those last words. HAHAHA. Then she replied this, and she thought I was Nico, my brother.

“Di na ako bata. Sige, ganyan ka pala, pinaasa mo lang ako sa wala. I hate you more than Wop. Ganyan naman kayong mga lalake e. Pinapaasa niyo ang mga babae. Hate U.

Phew! It’s really hard to understand and translate a Jejemon message okay? HAHA. And for the information of everybody, Wop is my cousin, which is the girl’s ex, too. According to my investigation. LOL.

but.. Ugh! Seriously girl? Why? How did you conclude that theory? What’s your proof that every guy/man is “paasa”? For all I know, you are just creating your own delusions. It’s your fault my darling. So deal with it. STOP ACTING LIKE A DAMN ADULT!!!111!!!!!11!1!!!

LOL. I am bored so therefore I’ll kick kids. LOL Kidding.

“Paki sabi naman sakin kung wala na tayo o, para di na ako umasa. Kung pinaglalaruan mo lang ako sabihin mo lang kasi ako mahal na mahal kita. Umaasa lang pala ako sa wala.”

A message from the 10 year old girlfriend(?) of my brother. (Buti pa siya, /slash-wrist. HAHA)  Though I translated that message a bit. 

My little brother and that girl. They share sweet messages and they even have a pet name for each other. Bhe, honey and i-don’t-remember-the-other-one. (Awwww so sweet! hahahahahaha. NO!) And I know this guys because my brother uses my phone to text whomever he likes to text. And I really don’t use my phone so.. Yeah.

But seriously guys? What is this fuckery? Why is this kid acting like a 14-year-old-me? Ugh. Why are these kids act like they are grown ups? Why are they talking about love and relationshits? Why?! 

Tsktsktsk. Hahaha. Am I over reacting? YES. But you see, kids should be playing around. Not flirting around. ugh. I would do anything to be a kid, for Pete’s sakes! Kid shouldn’t be like this. They should enjoy the happiness of playing, and be crazy and all that. 

Oh God, what happen to the world? What happen? 

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Marianas Trench - Good To You 

Everyone’s around, no words are coming now.
And I can’t find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound.
And I know this isn’t enough, I still don’t measure up.
And I’m not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it.

And now I do want you know I’ll hold you up above everyone.
And I do want you know I think you’d be good to me,
And I’d be so good to you.
I would.

Thought I saw a sign, somewhere between the lines.
Maybe it’s me, maybe I only see, what I want.
Or I still have your letter, just got caught between
Someone I just invented, and who I really am
and who I’ve become.

And I do want you know I’ll hold you up above everyone.
And I do want you know I think you’d be good to me
And I’d be so good to you.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
I can’t be without you.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Yeah….
I would.

(via dreawesome)

One of the beautiful things the world has. 

(via myblurrydreams)

I feel this blanket of sadness covering me. But I keep these thoughts to myself and Tumblr of course.

— If I Stay - Gayle Forman

(via compelledbybooks)

— Mitch Albom

I dreamed about a blogger last night. And it’s weird because we did some romantic stuffs together. Yes, romantic stuffs like hugging and blah blah blah. Seriously? Where did that come from?